Julissa Arce’s My (underground) American Dream reminds me of The Lady with Balls. Julissa, a Mexican beauty, was an undocumented immigrant till her mid-twenties. She falsified her social-security information, and I falsified my W-2. We both committed felonies so as to operate successfully in the business world, which would otherwise have been impossible. The two of us suffered extreme anxiety and sleepless nights for fear these illegal acts would be discovered. Julissa dreaded the prospect of deportation and I feared jail, painful and humiliating outcomes.
As teenagers, we were disappointed that our parents were either unable or unwilling to help us fulfill our dreams. Julissa had expected a lavish quinceañera in the same opulent Mexican hotel where her sister had been presented. I had dreamed of living in a dorm on a college campus, which my younger brother enjoyed to the fullest. Both Julia’s and my parents pled “unaffordable.” On top of Julissa’s shattered fantasy, she was devastated to learn that, due to her illegal status, she’d be unable to visit her beloved extended Mexican family because she lacked authorization to reenter the U.S.
My parents decided to limit their pricey expenditures to braces and a wedding for me and a stellar college education for my brother. Julissa, born in 1983, had parents with the more modern idea that a girl’s education was as important as a boy’s. Her parents valued education so highly that their daughter’s schooling was worth any sacrifice. They had great expectations for Julissa, whereas my parents’ top priority was that I remain a virgin till marriage.
We both witnessed our parents’ financial woes and envisioned ourselves as adults making enough money to solve such problems. We both achieved our lucrative business-career goals despite our worries of great shame and an upended life should our illegal behaviors be exposed. These stresses accompanied our too many working hours plus the everyday pressures of climbing to success amidst fierce competition.
Julissa and I suffered betrayals from men formerly considered marriage material. When Julissa discovered her guy was a two-timer who planned to move in with another woman, she confronted him and threatened to reveal his duplicity. She had previously trusted him with the secret of her undocumented status, and he said that if she told his preferred lady of their relationship, he would report Julissa to the authorities. Her heart and pride were broken. My injury included not only heart and pride but also my checkbook. My fiancé and I partnered in a business, and he stole from our business checking account. Julissa’s humiliation was more private than mine, as all my employees learned about the embezzlement before I did.
The next significant man in Julissa’s life was an exemplary fellow. When she confessed her big secret to him, he said he loved her and proposed marriage so she could get a green card. Initially, the marriage was a happy one, but the strain of geographically distant careers broke their relationship. I too admit assistance from a man in my life. He was the polar opposite of exemplary, but one bit of his advice led to my successful career: I heeded his suggestion to ask my industrial contacts what they needed but couldn’t get. When one man answered that his company needed baler wire, the seed of my business was planted.
Eventually, Julissa became a legal immigrant and then a US citizen, and I finally earned enough to proudly present an accurate-to-the-penny W-2. For different reasons, we both burned out from chasing the almighty dollar, and both of us chose to settle into more fulfilling lives.
How important do you consider your earning capacity?
Have you reached your financial comfort level?
Do you have more rewarding goals than a high-roller lifestyle or a glittering pile of money?
Or, are you now struggling to make ends meet and prepared to postpone personal fulfillment till you hit that comfort level?